My Story – The Beginning

I suppose today will be the day I begin to tell my story. Let me start out my story with the scar. Here goes…

Hi again, I’m Journal Girl and I’ve been abused. Probably not what you thought you’d see on the first ever post, huh? Well, this website isn’t for wimps… it’s for champions. It’s for survivors. I’ll begin my story as others write theirs and send them in.

It all started a little over a year ago. I fell madly and deeply in love – the kind of love that makes you do crazy things. The love I waited my whole life for was finally here. I would long to see his face; wait until he touched my hand and feel butterflies every time we kissed. The wonderful man I fell in love with, well, let’s call him The Storm (you will see why later).

I am crying now and wondering if I can really do this. Can I share my hardest life’s journey with the World Wide Web? As I sit doubting myself in the loft of my home, rocking back and forth in my chair, I realize I went through my trauma to help another person out there. So, as I write, remember… I’m just a girl with a journal, hoping to have my scar heal, just like you.

One rainy day, he lied to me and I was broken hearted. I felt a flood of emotions all over my body and knew I had to run away – run away for good. Something told me to get out of there. I grabbed my things and began out the door. My eyes were filled with makeup as I was sobbing over the lie he just confessed. I ran outside toward my car but ended up on the wooden patio. He had taken my arm, pulled it back, and grabbed the straps of my purse. I landed up the stairs. Soaked in water, I realized I was just attacked physically by The Storm. He fell to his knees, but not like in the movies. He covered his face with his hands and said: “I knew I would do this to you.” I was still trembling. Did I fall? Did this really just happen? Did the love of my life just physically abuse me? I began to cry and see if my arm was broken or bruised. I just laid in the puddle of water and sobbed. Not only had I been lied to, but I had now been abused. I could not believe it. I doubted myself. I looked up at The Storm and asked him; “You knew you’d physically hurt me one day? Then why didn’t you tell me?” I realize now that it was unrealistic for me to expect that, but I didn’t know any better at the time. Remember, I was in love. As I pick up all the belongings of my purse, I realize everything is about to change. I never saw one warning. I had just followed my heart and began to love an imperfect man, knowing I was an imperfect woman. But, he wasn’t in this for the same reasons I was. His heart was cold and mine was broken. I know God could heal my brokenness because He’s done it before, but I was afraid. Everything was about to change.

More to come… more trauma… more healing… stay tuned. 🙂